Transcript

Rowena Preddy
Where you before cancer ‘s kind of picked up and shook your life around?

Emily somers
So before I started Bravery, I was working in an ad agency. I was an art director, I was living with my two best mates in Richmond, just in Melbourne. And life was pretty good. I was 26 I suppose traveling, going to festivals hanging out with friends kind of doing the, the normal, I’d say 26 year old lifestyle, having a lot of fun. Just getting my career on track as well, as an art director. Yeah, life, life was pretty normal. And then I remember I was sitting in the car with dad. And we were heading to somewhere and dad’s a doctor, and I tell him about this lump that have popped on underneath my collarbone. And he normally doesn’t give me much medical attention normally, from dad, you know, it’s take a panadol have a lie down, leave me alone, because I suppose he deals with patients all the time. But this time was a bit different. And he was like, No, I would like you to get that checked down on Monday, make an appointment with your doctor, they rushed me along to another scan pretty fast. And I remember I had the second scan in the morning. And then they the doctor had rung me by the afternoon and wanted me to come in by the end of day. And I’d worked at my dad’s surgery as a receptionist through uni enough to know that if the doctor wants to see you on the day of the scan, and things are not good. So I walked into the room and my best friend had come with me. And he basically said that we were hoping that it was going to be tuberculosis. And if not tuberculosis this weird strain of pneumonia, because if it wasn’t those two things, then you’re looking at your cancers. So that was that was not my most happiest of days. So after that, I went home and I rung Dad in hysterics pretty much and read him out the report from the scan. And from then I had, I think it was the very next day after I was in an appointment with an oncologist. And he basically said, Yeah, I think that you’ve got Hodgkin’s lymphoma without even a biopsy and then had six months of chemo and lost my hair and got incredibly tired and sick and run down. But I was pretty stubborn with this first bout of cancer. I was, as I said, I think I turned 27 by that stage because it was a week before my 27th birthday that I was diagnosed, I was pretty stubborn, I decided that this wasn’t going to slow me down that I didn’t want it to affect my life. I still wanted to do all the things that all my friends were doing. I was really fighting hard against the FOMO. So I still worked. I had one week on and one week off. So I kind of have chemo on the Monday and then feel pretty lousy that whole week and sleep. And then the following Monday, I would go to work for a week. I still, you know, went to all the parties and went to all maybe not for that long. I attempted to go to festivals, which was probably not a good idea. But I really I really didn’t want cancer to ruin or to slow me down I suppose. So after that, I went into remission. I got the all clear, no cancer, super exciting. I’ve got my life really back on track, I kind of dumped a really crappy boyfriend. I started doing PT training, I got really fit. And I remember sitting in the room with my oncologist, the lovely Joe and telling him about all these great things and that I kind of been toying with a business idea as well. He was really excited. And then he kind of said to me, Look Em, we’ve had your scan, we’ve got the results. And it looks like it looks like the cancer is back. And that was just the biggest kick in the guts. I had no idea. Like I said I was feeling so fit. I was running around the town, which is something running and me just, they just don’t go hand in hand. So it was I had no idea that that news was coming and it was shattering. Absolutely shattering from that point. It was no longer going to be kind of six months of chemo and that was being done and dusted. It was a lots of chemo. I had a couple of months of chemo, but this time weekly instead of fortnightly. And then that was to kind of lead me up to a stem cell transplant, which is quite a horrific procedure. So that was kind of 10 days of intense or week of intense chemo being morning and night to basically wipe take out all the cells in my body. It basically kills all the good cells, but all the bad cells as well and so that you’re left with absolutely nothing. I think the last chemo that they give you on the very last day is basically poison. And if you don’t then have your stem cells put back in then you’re done. But you have your stem cells that they extracted prior to that week of chemo your stem cells put back in and that kind of from there, it reboots your immune system and you start again you start fresh with fingers crossed, no cancer cells in there. So recovery from that is I always told myself, I’m like if I ever get diagnosed with this again and I have to have a stem cell transplant, I think I’d prefer to Go to Thailand and meditate the cancer out because I never ever ever want to do that ever again it was shit. So then had radiotherapy after that also had quite a lot of operations with biopsies and ports being put in and Hickman was being put in and a lot of IVF stuff as well. So all the chemo is going to have, it’s going to shut down my ovaries. So we froze my eggs before we started chemo, which is another mind blowing conversation that you have at the age of 26, to think that you’re not going to be able to have babies and within a week, we need to, you know, get you to put your eggs on ice. And that’s it for you and fertility that was huge. And this time round, I approached cancer a little differently, because obviously, my stubborn approach didn’t work the first time. This time, I made sure that I took the time to completely heal, I didn’t work. I got into yoga and meditation, I learned about what I should be eating to make my body the least the place that Cantor does not want to grow. I also had like I said, this business idea that had been floating around my head for a little bit was bravery boxes initially, so I had wanted to make care packages for both cancer warriors, but also care packages for anyone I wanted to have the break up box, the man flu box, the cancer box, all these different fun boxes. And I had decided I’m like, Alright, well, if this cancer ship is going to happen again, this is my time, this is my opportunity to kind of to let this bravery idea grow. And then off, I went to do cancer number two, and then got through all the treatment was in the clear, again, had the remission, diagnosis, which is good or went into remission. That’s normal diagnosis. And then I just went into kind of got sucked back into everyday life, I went back to advertising, I had told myself that I would be working on this business, you know, at nights and on weekends. But I think I actually needed that time to just enjoy life. And just to go back to find the rhythm of normal life again, and figure out my place in it, I had really had the realization during the second bout of cancer that I didn’t want to do advertising anymore, that it really wasn’t where my heart was weirdly, making billboards. And you know, ads for insurance isn’t where my heart is, I did want to do something with a better purpose. So I knew that bravery was something I wanted to do. But I say this just because it what didn’t happen overnight. This from when I had the idea to when I actually launched took a long time. And lots of mulling in the back of my brain and slowly doing branding and making logos and coming up with the name took ages. And so it wasn’t until I got my two year clear mark. my oncologist told me that I didn’t even realize but it’s a huge milestone for to be in remission for two years. He said basically, you can go traveling now and I’d wanted to go traveling for such a long time, I’d want him to live overseas again, or go backpacking for a long period of time, I’d always been tied to my medical team in the hospital and just getting checkups regularly. And I wasn’t confident enough to go either. He said, Go you know you I don’t need to see you again for another, you know, eight months or so. So do what you want to do. And it was at that point, I think that was the deadline I needed because I realized that if I don’t launch bravery before I leave and I didn’t know how long I was going for then I then chances are it might not actually happen like I might be going for two years and it just felt like the experience of cancer would be too far in the past. So I really needed to it kind of gave me the kick up the but that I needed. So I then did a really quick pivot and realize that if I need to save to go overseas, and I need to save for all these beautiful care packages and all these lovely Australian made gorgeously packaged little products that I wanted to niche I couldn’t raise the capital for both. It was then that I pivoted and thought you know what headscarves is where it wants to be and I think that I haven’t actually talked about the headscarves in that last little journey bit. But when I lost my hair the second time when I had cancer the second time I was really sick of wearing my wig. The first bout of cancer I wore my wig all the way through and the second time I just didn’t want to put it back on my head it kind of made me feel like I was going backwards and it was the middle of summer it was hot. It was itchy. So I started playing around with head scarves. And I made like the good art director I am made big Pinterest boards with beautiful like 1930s 1940s Hollywood kind of girls wearing turbans also amazing African women wearing their huge bright bold colorful turbans. I jumped on to YouTube and sat there for hours and taught myself how to tie lots of knots and ties and twists and and turbans. And it was when I started wearing the scarf that I kind of felt more like myself. I didn’t feel like a cancer patient. I felt like someone that was wanting to wear the scarf because it looked bloody cool and I started getting compliments from people Like when I was walking down the street, I’d get people being like, oh, love you scarf and I was like, I’d always kind of question that and be like, you just given me a compliment because you know that you have cancer. But, you know, on a good day with a whole lot of bronzer, you’re able to pass as someone that isn’t really sick. And also I got loads of compliments from girls in the chemo Ward, They asked me to teach them how to tie the headscarf. So that was kind of a big point. I think I can remember the lady that I helped and I just it was so quick and so simple to teach her how to tie it in a really fun, kind of fashionable way. Not a cancer kind of patient way. You could just tell that she’d stood taller, and she felt better though I suppose that’s where bravery bravery co headscarves led by headscarves. Maybe I will still do bribery boxes. But that’s where bravery co kind of started from.

Rowena Preddy
I have a friend who is also going to be in this issue of brand you magazine. And she’s currently going through like, I desperately wanted to know what to get for her. I wanted to show her that I I was thinking of her and my heart was breaking through her. But I was still there as a friend and all of the things that I can do. And what advice would you give to people in the situation that we’re supporting you through that? I mean, you had a dad who was a doctor, but you obviously had friends and a boyfriend that we won’t speak of? What advice do you have for people that want to be there for the people that might be going through something very similar to what you went through?

Emily somers
I’m super passionate about this part of bravery. Because I think being so young, I had quite a few friends that just completely dropped off, because they didn’t know what to say. And they told me like months and months after or years after, kind of said, I just didn’t know what to say. So I just didn’t say anything at all. And I I totally get that it’s really scary. And it’s a conversation, especially for younger people or for when it’s your first mate with cancer because I hate to say it, we’re probably you know, the stats are really bad, we’re probably gonna you probably gonna have more friends with cancer eventually. It’s a tricky conversation to have. And I think that, like you just said, you know, I’m here for you. I’m thinking of you that text message emoji emoji emoji. I think that emojis are great for the days that you don’t know what to say, send some love heart, that’s even enough, I got loads of flowers, which look are lovely, my house look like a florist for about a week or two. And then they all died. So go easy on flowers or send the flowers later down the track when they may not have received lots. But then there’s all the practical things that you can also do in terms of if they’ve got kids pick up their kids and take them to school or babysit or you know, and kind of do it in a way that says I’m picking up your kids. I’m gonna give you a day off on Saturday. Let me take your kids like I think it was also hard when people said let me know if you need help. And you know, I’m quite a private person as I think most people are you don’t want to ask for that help. But if someone said I’m, you know, I’ll be in your area, you know, this afternoon, let me take you out for tea or let me take your kids out or let me help with gardening I’m doing my garden, I’ll do your garden or I’m will be picking up shopping. What can I pick up for you or dropping off frozen food is also a good one. Again, it’s super tough, you also got to think that your friend is still your friend. If they liked funny YouTube videos, they’ll still like those funny youtubes if they like, you know, they’re really into footy send them all the footy chat like nothing has changed. I think that people kind of forget that. My personality was still there. And I’m still the same person and I’m still able to laugh at that funny stuff. Or you know, interested in the same TV shows or festivals or music. So, you know, send them a playlist of their favorite music. There’s things that you can do that if you have a think about your mate, send them what what they love. And be afraid to kind of say something. It’s hard. There’s a whole long list of things I’ve got to not say but at the same time I think it’s worse to not say anything at all. Don’t tell stories about your cousin or your aunt or so and so that had that cancer and died as long as you don’t say that. That’s my number one don’t say and you don’t know how many times people would be like, Oh yeah, my aunt had that. Oh, yeah. This person’s You know, my my babysitter’s hairdressers friend just died last week of cancer. I think we don’t need to hear those stories. Do not tell them. Apart from that. Say something as long as you’re saying it with love. I think that that’s more appreciated than completely dropping off and not saying anything at all.

Rowena Preddy
One of the things I read in your blog that I really enjoyed was the idea of writing, no need to reply at the end of the messages as well. Being a graphic designer and an artist and my friend who’s also an illustrator. One of the things that appealed to both of us about your beautiful scarves is that they are beautiful, but how do you go about using your designs and using the artists that you work with to further develop your mission and your values that you’re trying to lean into with bravery co.

Emily somers
Totally agree they are the most gorgeous, beautiful collection of scarves and I’d love to take credit for them but I collaborate with artists and illustrators who are far more talented than I am. At the start I had thought that I could design them all myself and then after start trying to you know, run the business and do the accounting and do the social media and produce the scarf, realised it’s too hard. And I need other people that understand textiles and design better than I do. So now like you said, Yes, I work with amazing mainly women, a couple of men to create scarves that I suppose don’t look like your standard cancer branded scarves. The biggest reason I started bravery is because when I was Google searching, chemo, headwear cancer, headwear, the brands and the styles that were popping up were so daggy and I feel horrible, always saying how, how bland and crap these brands are, because I know that they’ve been started with love. And I’m sure that they’re exactly what some women are looking for. But me at the age of 26, I didn’t want these scarves that looked to me screamed cancer patient. So with bravery, I really use big bold, bright colors or I encouraged the illustrators and the artist to use them, because I find that they’re the most uplifting thing to wear when you’re feeling pretty shitty in creating things that look like they’re kind of from more fashion world, rather than a clinical hospital world is kind of what I’m trying to do with bravery so that these cancer warriors that may have just had the worst couple of weeks of their life and then are going through something as traumatic as losing their hair can kind of find bravery and feel like this is a place that you’d shop at, regardless of whether you had cancer and their designs that appeal to you not because you’re cancer patients just because they’re bloody cool.

Rowena Preddy
Now, obviously, you’ve made a lot of contacts with people that probably wouldn’t have been a part of your life if this wasn’t the journey that it was sort of set before you. What are some of the common denominators you would say amongst the amazing woman that you now work with?

Emily somers
The friendships that I’ve made both through bravery but even before bravery, just as a cancer warrior. Still the most surprising thing about this whole cancer land I think that I’ve just met the most wonderful beautiful warm, talented strong women that I feel really lucky to have met I wouldn’t like he said I wouldn’t have come into contact with them because they all come from you know different sides of the world and different walks of life because we’ve all had a crappy cancer come into our life we’ve got to meet each other I think that firstly as a cancer warrior This is one of my biggest tips for other girls that have been diagnosed is find another cancer warrior that you can reach out to or you know online or through someone you know, I found that Steph who was my very first chemo buddy we after I had a chat with her and this was probably three months into doing chemo the first time it was a game changer it was better than any psychologist I’d ever spoken to. She just got exactly what I was going through I was able to have conversations with her that probably would have scared other people or you know they wouldn’t have known the right things to say like it was just so lovely. She was able to give me lots of advice and tips and so was I although your you know your normal group of friends are great. The support that another cancer warrior can give you can give each other is wonderful as myself being a cancer warrior that’s that’s huge. But then being able to work with these girls through bravery has also been amazing. All my models are cancer warriors, so they’ve had or they have had cancer. So that’s also been another place where I’ve met some beautiful souls. And I just don’t understand I feel like cancer seems to maybe only affect the legends in the world because I don’t think I’ve met a girl that hasn’t blown me away. In some ways. It’s one of the loveliest parts of my business. And the part that I feel really lucky to have.

Rowena Preddy
I read somewhere that cancer is the greatest equalizer.

Emily somers
I always kind of say that Cancer strips back everything in your life, you realize that there’s a whole lot of noise in our day to day life that you just don’t need you realize who your good mates you realize what you really love doing in life. And it just kind of simplifies everything you know, I think, is treatment, especially a second time. I just made huge changes in my life and some quite small changes. But you know, I focused on the humans in life that I really loved. I changed what I was doing for career wise, it just strips everything back. Because once you have health, that’s all that really matters as much as I say I never ever want cancer ever again. I’m grateful that I had it because it really shook everything up and turned it all upside down and turned it to shit for a little while but then kind of gave me the chance to build it up into something that is now much better.

Rowena Preddy
One of my favorite terms that you’ve used through this chat is the term cancer warrior. It just feels so strong and so powerful.

Emily somers
It’s It’s a hard one because I love the term cancer warrior and I use it because I hate the word cancer patient. I feel like that sounds like I’m calling these women and I hate being called again. As a cancer patient myself, I feel like it makes it portrays people as being weak and sick and quite passive. But I mean, I get it, yes, half the time. You know, cancer does make you really sick. But you don’t want to think of yourself as someone that’s that’s weak or, you know, has been changed by your disease. So cancer warrior is, I think, the best term that I found to describe us However, in the saying that I still believe that talking about wars and winning and battles, sometimes it just feels like it’s a bit, it’s a bit much, I feel like we still are healing our bodies, and we still got to be kind to our bodies, and the cancer is within you, I suppose. So yes, we’re attacking this cancer, but you’re also wanting to be kind and heal and be loving and, and grateful and patient with your body. I love cancer warriors, because there’s nothing better that I’ve found yet but at the same time, I always try and equal it out by saying, you know, you’ve got to be kind to yourself got to overcome this huge, giant thing. You’ve got to do it with love to yourself and take time to heal yourself. And that’s such an important part of this battle that we’ve somehow been dealt.

Rowena Preddy
I feel like so often around these kinds of topics, suddenly, like songs and quotes, and those types of things. feel like they’re all speaking to you. Do you apart from cancer warrior? Do you have something that spoke to you in particular, either before or after or during this journey that kind of feels like your, your cancer catchphrase, shall we call it?

Emily somers
That’s a good one. But in terms of the catchphrase, I suppose a mantra when I was because to add to my story, I was diagnosed at the end of 2019, with my third bout of cancer, and this time, it was a sarcoma, and it was probably caused by the radiotherapy that treated my second cancer. But anyway, I had to have a huge surgery to get this tumor out of my neck, it was wrapped around all my nerves around my spine. And it was quite a scary surgery, because there was a significant chance of stroke and a significant chance that they might not be able to get it all out. And so that would mean that if they didn’t get it out, pretty much puts me in the stage four which is not where you want to be. So it was a scary, scary thing to get ready for and get my head around. And the mantra that I had going through my mind, we’ve made my family and I had made it up was that I was going to be stroke free, cancer free, healthy. And I just chanted this over and over and over again in my head leading up to the surgery. And then when my family came in to see me after the 11 hour surgery that it was they came in and they were chanting, they knew before I did but they got all the cancer out and obviously I hadn’t had a stroke on the table. So in terms of words that really helped me and got me through something, putting that at the back of my head every time I felt like I was going to lose it and break down. It kind of it gave me a pep talk. It felt like a cheerleader kind of chat. But it really did pull me together quite a lot the week or two before I went in for that operation. So get yourself a chant like that. And if you don’t have one you can use mine guys.