What steps can we take to create confidence on the daily?
I see confidence as a practice and I’ve created a practice of confidence. It’s called the Five Cs and it’s five steps to help you step into your confidence no matter where you are. Whether you’re someone who doesn’t identify as confident, or someone who feels great in their confidence but maybe is lost and doesn’t know what the next steps are. This practice of confidence takes you through the five steps. It’s literally a step by step process that we found after researching confidence for over 10 years and understanding what the most confident people in the world do. They are constantly in the practice. They are making moves in this practice and they get up. They mess up, they get up, they do it again. They do it again.
So the five Cs are, number one, choice:
Confident people make decisions, difficult decisions, scary decisions. Choice is all about you making a decision to do that thing that you keep avoiding. We have choices every single day and the choices that we take and that we make determine the lives that we live. So what is one big choice or scary decision that you have been avoiding and you haven’t been doing? Number one is, check that out. What is the choice that you have and why haven’t you done it? Can you identify one scary thing that you haven’t done that you know you need to do? Write it down. Many times this is where people get worried about self-sabotage or get worried about, what choice do I make? What if I make the wrong choice? That’s the problem. You can’t make the wrong choice!! Even the wrong choices I made in my life led me to the right path. We need that. Basically, in step one, it’s all about asking, ‘ what do you know I need to do that I keep avoiding?’. Write it down.
Step two is courage:
Courage is all about taking a step in the dark. Courage is all about being scared as hell but moving anyway. Courage is not about you feeling amazing and ready and unstoppable and fearless. I actually don’t believe anyone is fearless. Courage is about being scared but moving anyway. Courage is about not seeing the full picture, but believing that you can walk towards what you want. So, number two is courage. You have that scary decision, that big choice that you need to make. You’re going to have to muster up some courage and you don’t get courage to be courageous. You basically need to walk in the dark and trust that as you walk the light will come on, that as you move through the fog, you will start to see more and more ahead of you. But you don’t get to see ahead of you unless you start moving.
Number three is create:
Create is about you taking one small action and aligned action, towards that which you want. Create is not action because the word action in itself can be very hustle and ‘just do stuff’ vibes. Many times we do a lot and it doesn’t get us where we want, versus creating one small step towards that big choice. Once made this will get you momentum and will get you aligned action. Take one tiny step into the direction of what you desire. I think as women we sabotage by trying to do everything or trying to do the big thing and, really, how do you eat an elephant? You chew on its pinky toe. You don’t bite the whole thing. You don’t go for everything. This, again, is another thing that we do to stop our confidence. You have a scary choice that you need to make.
You feel fear, you feel like you need to muster up some courage, and now step three is about you creating an action step. What’s one thing you can do, one small step, small is the key word here, in order to get what you want happening?
Number four is consider:
And consider is all about evaluating your action. Many times we don’t do this and many times this is where people say, “I failed”, and they stop and don’t continue, they don’t keep going. When you fail and you fall down and you don’t get back up, this is a crowbar in your practice of confidence. It literally hijacks you and you are unable to create confidence again. This is where people feel that they are just not confident women or they’ll never be confident. This is where that belief comes from. When you consider your action and what you did, maybe it wasn’t the right thing. Maybe in step three, that little small step or action you took wasn’t good. This is your opportunity to evaluate, to consider, did you fail or did you learn? How was that for you? What part of that didn’t work out and could you do it better? What part of that was awesome and needs to be continued? And evaluate, when you’re considering, how did you go? This is optimal for creating your confidence, and women who stand in their confidence are willing to look at where things didn’t go well and where things went well so they can learn and be better.
And lastly, number five is, continue:
You go back to the beginning. You make another choice. You stand in your courage. You create your courage. You create a step forward. You consider how you went and you continue.
And this practice of confidence, the five Cs, is actually what the most confident people in the world do. They commit, they show up again. They do it again many times. You get the repetition. This is where you’re in the practice. People that you look up to like Oprah or Jennifer Lopez or Brene Brown, or whoever you like, these people are in the practice of confidence. They are always moving through these five C’s and they move so fast through them that you don’t even notice where they are. Courage and continue become like the wind that keeps you going through this practice. I am constantly creating my confidence on a day to day basis. No one is confident. It’s a practice you have to commit to moment to moment, second to second.